Preparing to climb out of the car, I told my son in the back seat, «I’ll leave the key in the car, so it doesn’t yell at you when I leave.» I was referring to the panicked beeping my car emits if the key leaves the car while the motor is still on.
An accusatory voice at my elbow made my hair stand on end. «It is not recommended to leave your keys in the car because it could lead to theft!»
As the verbal finger-wagging continued, I located its source. My cell phone! Opening it, I saw the little screen flashing, proudly announcing that Gemini, Google’s AI chatbot, was speaking to me.
I felt the more unsettled to realize that Gemini had also been eavesdropping on my conversation with my son.
Not seeing any button, icon, or means of finger-stroking Gemini into submission, I tried a commanding tone, the kind I’d use to reprimand a bad dog.
«Gemini, I don’t want to hear anything more from you! Stop listening to me. Go away and go to sleep! Shut down!»
Mercifully, the screen went dark, and the phone went quiet.
Later, at home, we performed surgery on my phone. It involved googling «gemini.google.com.activity,» touching a little hamburger menu in the corner (a little stack of horizontal lines), and then selecting from the menu, «Turn off and delete activity.»
Our chickens give me respite from the netherworld of artificial intelligence (AI). Sometimes I check out «Backyard Chickens» for news from the feathered world. Today, I read, «Hello. I’ve just joined because I don’t have a clue about chickens, and I now have two of them.
«They belonged to a neighbour,» wrote the new chicken owner. «They escaped soon after he got them. I am guessing they are six or seven months old and have just started laying eggs. For reasons I do not know, they picked me to live with.»
The pair of hens, Thelma and Louise, follow their new benefactor around and sleep in the neighbour’s trees. Louise lays an egg almost everyday in the nest box of their new little coop, but Thelma decided to lay her eggs in the tiniest flowerpot in the greenhouse.
I laugh as the story unfolds. I hear my hens cluck outside the window.
Chickens are good for my blood pressure. May bird flu stay far away!
